


A bond (never) to be broken.

by judelaw



Category: Captain Marvel (2019)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Yonvers - Freeform, as well as extra information from the art book, can also be read as friendship because it really isn't more than that at this point, heavily inspired by the books 'Starforce on the Rise' and 'Starfroce Mission Log'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 08:50:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18362678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/judelaw/pseuds/judelaw
Summary: The first few times it had happened she went out on her own in the middle of the night, unsure where to go in this still to her foreign city. So she just ran. The destination didn’t matter; she didn’t need to runtowardsanything, she just needed to runfrom something. It had helped at first, for two maybe three days, but the dream would start to reoccur more frequently, scaring her more and more as each seemed to be more violent, more confusing as the one before. Going to sleep had become a challenge, staying asleep an impossible task.And then suddenly she had found herself in front of Yon-Rogg’s apartment. She didn’t go there on purpose but she had sought comfort and shelter, someone who could at least give her theillusionof safety when she already knew she could never escape her own mind, so that's where her legs had taken her.





	A bond (never) to be broken.

The first sunray of the day pervaded the half closed shutters covering his window and slowly immersed the room in a bright yellow light. He opened his eyes; the habit had woken him up minutes ago before the sun got the chance to do so. Yon-Rogg didn’t know what time it was but he knew it was _too_ early to stand up. Yawning he stretched himself, taking his time to leave the bed while desperately trying to think of an excuse to stay in it. Sleep was precious to him – _especially_ in one of these nights when he had just returned from a five-day mission and not only wanted the rest but also _needed_ it. Nonetheless he got up and started to get dressed.

He had already prepared his training gear the evening before just to safe some time in the morning - and maybe also because he was quite useless at such an early hour and would have trouble finding the correct clothes right away. The fabric felt familiar on his skin, reassuring him in a way of what his purpose was. Why he even bothered to leave the warm embrace of his bed. Every single piece of clothing he owned belonged to the military and was a symbol as his status not only as a warrior but as the leader of the Starforce. The general public didn’t need those clothes to recognize him but he always felt a certain kind of pride wearing them. He had trained his entire life to serve the Empire, to fight for and protect its people. The shirt, even though it was simple and only for training purposes, was a reminder of how far he had come. From the bottom of lower Hala to the top of the Starforce.

Someone knocked on his door just when he had put on his shoes and was finally able to keep his eyes open. Yon-Rogg opened it to a slightly stressed looking woman wearing the same clothes, who unlike him didn’t seem to be tired despite the time. They smiled at each other like they always did, though his smile was rather kind and forgiving while hers was completely complacent.

“You’re ready?” Vers asked, a bit surprised and almost challenging.

“I _always_ am.”

She crocked an eyebrow but still had the same smug expression on her lips as she starred jogging ahead, swiftly followed by Yon-Rogg.

“Dreams again?” he wondered when he caught up to her, even though he already knew the answer.

Vers didn’t reply but nodded, her eyes fixed on the street in front of them. A quick encouraging pat on the shoulder ended the conversation for now as they just quietly ran beside each other, both absorbed in their thoughts.

She had been having the same dream for months now, about this woman and the Skrull. And her. Covered with blood. It must be a memory, she figured, considering how often the dream returned and as much as she _wanted_ to remember everything, who she was, what happened, she still wished the dream would just go away.

The first few times it had happened she went out on her own in the middle of the night, unsure where to go in this still to her foreign city. So she just ran. The destination didn’t matter; she didn’t need to run _towards_ anything, she just needed to run _from something_. It had helped at first, for two maybe three days, but the dream would start to reoccur more frequently, scaring her more and more as each seemed to be more violent, more confusing as the one before. Going to sleep had become a challenge, staying asleep an impossible task. And then suddenly she had found herself in front of Yon-Rogg’s apartment. She didn’t go there on purpose but she had sought comfort and shelter, someone who could at least give her the _illusion_ of safety when she already knew she could never escape her own mind, so that's where her legs had taken her.

Her commander was the only person she really know on Hala, the only one who actually _cared_ about her. She had already been introduced to the other members of Yon-Rogg’s team, the team she would end up joining, and they all seemed nice but Vers just felt so different from them. Almost as if she didn’t belong here. Yon-Rogg had told her to take her time, that she’s only been here for a few weeks and that she will soon find friends and generally feel more at ease – but right now he was the only one who made her feel like she _was_ meant to be somewhere.

Yet she was unsure if she would be allowed to wake him up. It wasn’t the middle of the night anymore but still too early for anyone to be awake if they weren’t forced to. She was almost, no, she was _definitely_ afraid that if she knocked and bothered him, he would stop being so nice to her. That she’ll feel even more alone than she already was.

But Yon-Rogg would never leave her, would never make her miserable. She _knew_ that. He had saved her life by giving her his blood; he had brought her _back_ to life. They had a special bond; a bond surely wouldn’t be broken by something so minuscule. Even _if_ he wouldn’t be thrilled by her waking him up and _would_ send her away, he _wouldn’t_ end up hating her. _Right?_

So she knocked.

It took about a minute or two until he had opened the door, obviously very sleepy. She had never seen him in such a state, one that’s so innocent and unalert. He blinked at her, almost as if he didn’t believe his eyes and Vers immediately felt horrible for having woken him up, for disturbing his privacy and abusing the trust he had put in her when he shared the location of his domicile.

“I’m _so_ sorry,” turning around to stop bothering further, she almost started to run away, hoping he would have forgotten about it by the morning but before she even got the chance to make one step, he had gently encompassed her arm.

“Vers?” he sounded tired but awake enough to be receptive. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s alright! I’m sorry for waking you up!” Vers quickly tried to get away from him, away from this fear of getting abandoned but she was stopped by the hand that still didn’t let go of her.

“You don’t get to wake me up at whatever time it is and then just run away without telling me why,” he didn’t sound mad rather curious, concerned even.

“I’m really sorry! I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

Yon-Rogg shook his head, carefully pulling her closer and placing both of his hands reassuringly on her shoulders, running his thumbs over them.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he smiled and added softly and half-jokingly. “That’s an order.”

Vers looked away, insecurely rubbing her arm as she didn’t know what to tell him. Would he think of her as weak when she admitted to be scared of a dream, a memory that couldn’t harm her anymore? Would he be disappointed? Would she forever lose the chance of joining the Starforce? It had been stupid to wake him up. But now she _had_ to live with the consequences and accept them like a real warrior would do.

“I had… a dream,” she began, still lacking the bravery to look him in the eyes.

He didn’t say anything and waited for her to continue. Vers wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad sign.

“It’s the same dream, over and over again, each night. I don’t know what it means or… if it’s a memory but I just want it to _stop_ …”

Yon-Rogg bent his brows, surprised by her reasoning: “I thought you _wanted_ to remember everything?”

“I do… It’s just… This particular one scares me. I’m sorry,” she felt like crying but didn’t want to make the situation worse for herself. He must already think of her as pathetic.

“What are you sorry for?” Yon-Rogg seemed sincerely confused.

“Waking you up, bothering you…”

He sighed and lifted up her chin to make her face him.

“You are _not_ bothering me.”

“Oh yeah, you must be _thrilled_ to see me.”

Yon-Rogg almost laughed. He really enjoyed her sense of humor, even if he couldn’t show it as much as he wanted. Vers was so different from anyone else, from all the Kree he knew. Yes, she had been a Terran until he shared his blood with her but it still amazed him. The Kree, including himself, were focused on controling their emotions, to not let the enemy know what they were feeling. Vers however just lived them out. He knew it should agitate him and that he needs to teach her how to keep her emotions in check – but it didn’t. In fact, he was actually _drawn_ to that. Seeing her living out joy or anger shamelessly made him even envy her a little bit – but seeing her so upset and hurt was a painful experience.

“I am _thrilled_ to see you came to me for help.” he smiled at her. “You clearly neither can nor want to be alone right now.”

“I still shouldn’t have,” she avoided his eyes. “I had dealt with the dreams on my own until now and should continue to do so.”

She expected her statement to gain his approval; that he would be pleased to know she wanted to keep fighting them herself.

“ _Vers…_ ”

His tone made her actually look at him. She wasn’t sure if she was reading him correctly since she had already learnt that Yon-Rogg was really good at hiding his true emotions, but he seemed to be… saddened?

“What do you mean ‘ _until now…_ ’” he had thought her restlessness was a one-time thing and not a regular occurrence for her. That the dream had never been as bad as it had been tonight, causing her to take such measures.

“I have the same dream since weeks; I don’t know…” she tried to explain. “Sometimes I get a few nights off but it always returns.”

He sighed again, running his hand through his hair, wishing she had told him earlier. Yon-Rogg knew she already was pretty much alone and struggling to find her place in the Kree Empire. She really didn’t need to have nightmares too. If her days were stressful at least her nights should be calm and serene.

And he knew all of this, all of her suffering, was _his_ fault.

He was the one who had brought her to Hala in the first place. He didn’t involve her in the war between the Skrull and Kree, that had been Mar-Vell, but he made her continue participating in it. Even without her knowledge. Sure, once she had shot the drive he had no other choice but to take her with them, he _knew_ she would have died otherwise. For the longest time he had told himself he had only saved her because she absorbed the core’s energy – and the core was something Mar-Vell had developed for the Kree Empire so it belonged to them – but he had now accept the fact that this hadn’t been the _actual_ reason behind his behavior. It was a part of it, yes, but there had been something about Vers that had fascinated him, that made him want to safe _her_ not the energy. She was a Terran yet selflessly fought for what she believed was right, ready to sacrifice herself for the cause. Her bravery and altruism reminded him of the Kree, the Nobel Warriors Heroes they were. She _deserved_ to get rescued just for her actions – even though he still would have rather she hadn’t shot the drive in the first place.

Yon-Rogg knew better than anyone that he was the reason Vers was still alive, that she would have died if it wasn’t for his blood – in fact, she already had been dead before the transfusion. She owed her life to him. But did this _really_ justify what he had done to her? Making her live on a foreign planet and participate in a war that wasn’t hers to begin with? Did it actually justify telling her lies about how he had found her? Yes, he knew they were on the right side, that all the Kree did was to shelter themselves; that all those people on Hala and several other planets were counting on the protection of people like him. If he could tell her how they met, tell her about what Mar-Vell was doing, that she tried to help the enemy, the very people who are responsible for the suffering of so many, she would understand, right? She would _still_ fight for them. She _had_ to. He knew that. He knew _her_.

The Supreme Intelligence had forbidden him to ever mention that day at the lake to anyone, _especially_ Vers. They feared she’d turn against them, that she would side with the Skrull like Mar-Vell had. And what if she would do that? What if she w _ouldn’t_ understand why they, why _he_ had done all of this? What if she would become so outraged she’d accidentally – or even on purpose - harm and kill others? People who were innocent, who had nothing to do with this? She was _his_ responsibility and she would also be his fault. He had brought her to Hala and promised to take care of her; reassured he _could_ take care of her. He couldn’t risk the life of so many others out of simple remorse, no matter how upset she was and how horrible he felt.

So they both had to live with the lie.

_However_ , he could still try his best to make it all up to her. If she needed him, needed someone to talk to, to train with - he’d be there for her. No matter what time it was.

_Forever._

And he was incredibly upset, not with her but with himself, that she didn’t seem to know that.

“Vers,” he began. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She shrugged even though she knew the reason.

“I thought I could handle it on my own and,” her voice cracked. “Didn’t want you to think I’m weak.”

Yon-Rogg tried to restrain his incredulous laughter to not further unsettle her: “ _Weak_? You are the strongest person I know.”

Astonished she tried to figure out if he was joking but he seemed to be completely serious.

“Come inside, we can talk about your dream.”

Vers quickly shook her head, immediately becoming tense. She didn’t want to _talk_ about it; she just wanted to _forget_ it. Preferably forever but at least for the moment.

“No, I’ll just… do what I always do, but thank you, Yon-Rogg. Really.”

He raised a brow, still not willing to let her be on her own: “What do you always do?”

“I like to run. It distracts me.”

“Where are you running to?”

“Nowhere, I’m just running around.”

That was an entirely new concept to him.  What was the point of running if it wasn’t to reach a destination faster? And it didn’t seem to work either considering she still had the dreams and now even reached out to him. He thought about insisting, to _make_ her tell him about her dream because he knew talking about it would help. But maybe they didn’t need to do it _right now_. Maybe distraction is really what she needed.

“Alright. Wait here, I’m coming with you.”

Before she even had the chance to object and tell him that wasn’t necessary, that she didn’t want to stop him from getting his well-deserved rest anymore, he had already went inside and closed the door.

She thought about just running away but what use would that be? She couldn’t avoid Yon-Rogg forever – and she didn’t _want_ to avoid him, her only friend, at all. But she still felt awful. He seemed to be genuinely concerned and somehow that was worse than the feared annoyance.

When he stepped outside again he was wearing the same training gear Vers was in: “I’ll follow your lead.”

She hesitated for a moment but then started running, in a slower pace at first as she didn’t know how good Yon-Rogg could keep up, despite being aware he must be _at least_ as fast as her. Once he reached her they found a rhythm that made it easy to run together and still be able to speak to each other.

“You don’t have to talk about your dream now. But one day you’ll have to. And I’ll be there to listen.”

“Thank you,” it wasn’t just directed at his offer but at everything he had done for her so far. She really appreciated his support, his friendship, and more than anything that he had saved her life.

“So, tell what’s the deal with you and this running-nowhere-habit of yours.”

“Exercise keeps my thoughts from drifting away,” she explained despite not really knowing herself either why she liked running so much. Maybe it had been something she had always done in her previous life.

“How about we start your training then? If you feel fit enough.”

Yon-Rogg had promised to personally train her once she had recovered from what happened to her and was comfortable on Hala. It had been weeks now since she arrived and she had desperately waited for him to begin training her. Not only would it give her something to do, it would also give her a purpose, a reason why she was on Hala.

“The question is if _you_ are fit enough,” she grinned. Maybe the day wouldn’t be _that_ horrible after all. He didn’t bother to reply as he knew it was just a joke – a joke that maybe would have even offended him if it came from anyone else.

He had shown her the gyms - and really everything on Hala and the military layer really - so she knew where they had to go and immediately changed her direction but Yon-Rogg quickly pulled her back.

“This way,” he pointed to right where the public transport, that connected lower and upper Hala, was located. She had only taken the transport twice with him but she was pretty sure it didn’t lead to the gyms or anything similar on the base that could be used for training purposes.

Seeing her confused expression, he explained: “We are not going to the gyms I’ve shown you.”

“Where are we going then? I thought you wanted to start my training?” she feared he didn’t actually mean exercise but the theory that would come first. “I’m _not_ fit enough to read anything.”

Yon-Rogg laughed: “Don’t worry, I’m taking you to a gym – just not the ones we have here.”

“Why not?”

He wanted to give her something, a part from himself, to pay her back for all the struggle she was facing. He didn’t have a lot to give apart from his time but maybe the little he had at least began to be compensation.

The gym he’d take her to was a place he had never shown anyone else – at least no one in the Military, not even the Starforce. The latter was aware of the existence of said gym as he had to explain to them why he would never turned up at the military ones but not once had he told them where it was located or even thought about taking them there. It was just his. And it would forever be his. But he was willing to share it with Vers.

He had been visiting the gym since he was a child. He always knew he wanted to join the military to protect the Kree so he had trained as often as he could. It was an old gym at the bottom of lower Hala, not necessarily in the best area but it had been the area he grew up and therefore still felt comfortable in.

He wanted to show her his life and who he was to make himself as vulnerable to her as she was to him. It was only fair. Or at least the fairest he could get with her.

But of course he could never tell her any of this. So instead his explanation was “The one I’m taking you to doesn’t have all the amenities the modern gyms have. All we need are out mind and the mat.”

That made a lot of sense to her so she nodded and followed him, eager to finally start being a real Kree warrior.

Somehow all of this had become regularity. The dream didn’t go away, not even when they talked about it. It would become less frequent from time to time but it was always in the back of her head, like a predator waiting for its prey. Whenever she didn’t want to sleep, she’d wake him up and he’d invariably get up and ready and run with her to the gym of his childhood.

“Where’s your head?” Vers asked when she noticed Yon-Rogg wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing, playfully pushing him to the side.

“In my bed,” he complained, only half-jokingly.

She grinned: “Oh come on, you were already waiting for me. You enjoy our training as much as I do.”

“You enjoy getting defeated every single time?” he asked teasingly, knowing exactly how to push the right buttons.

“I enjoy kicking your ass.”

Without saying anything he placed a foot in front of her, causing her to trip over it and fall, too unexpected for her to catch herself in time.

“ _Never_ let your guard down.”

She looked up into his grinning face and before she could even think about getting up, she had already shot a photon blast at him. Vers wasn’t necessarily angry, at least not in an out-of-her-mind-way - she just wanted to punch that stupid grin out of his face. Knowing her, however, Yon-Rogg had anticipated such an attack and dodged it right in time. Instead of him, the blast struck a warehouse across the street. It was strong enough to blow a whole into the wall but thankfully didn’t do more damage or even harmed anyone.

They both stared at the hole and Vers expected to not only get in trouble with the owner of said building but, which would be even worse, with Yon-Rogg. He had told her time and time again to control herself and this time she hadn’t even been outraged, she just wanted to hit him with a photon blast because she _knew_ he didn’t want that.

“I’m so sorry,” she quickly jumped up, not sure if she should apologize to Yon-Rogg or the owner first. “That wasn’t my intention, I’m sorry!”

“I know it wasn’t, Vers,” he sighed. “One day, I’m gonna go bankrupt because of you.”

He started to head towards the building followed by Vers. So far Yon-Rogg had _always_ paid for any damaged she caused – whether it had to be paid with credits or by taking the full responsibility in front of their superiors – because he considered himself to be her liability. It never made sense to Vers and she always felt bad when she accidentally screwed something up, causing him to get in trouble, but this time she had fuck up on purpose. Sure the outcome wasn’t what she wanted but it was still completely her own fault and no one else’s.

“Yon-Rogg, I,” she pulled on his sleeve to stop him from going any further. “It’s my fault. I wasn’t even angry, I just…”

She expected him to be disgusted that she even considered using her powers like that as it’s clearly not the way a Noble Kree Warrior would act like. But he didn’t seem surprised at all.

“I know what you look like when you’re angry. And what you look like when you are just being smug.”

“You really shouldn’t take the responsibility.”

“I won’t. I’ll pay for it but _you_ can explain what happened and apologize,” he came a bit closer and whispered urgently. “But seriously, no more photon blasts in public. You could have hurt someone.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” she replied sincerely, lowering her head.

He stepped away from her again, realizing she had understood the seriousness of the situation and was now in a much lighter mood: “Good to know you still resort on cheating to beat me.”

“ _You_ are the one of us who attacked the other from ambush,” Vers reasoned, almost offended by the suggestion she was cheating – she was just bending the rules.

“There is no such thing for Kree warriors. We must _always_ be on guard.”

She got into a huff as they continued their way to the warehouse. Thankfully the owner was way more understanding than she would have been in such a situation, which was mainly due to his admiration of Yon-Rogg. The hero worship even went so far that he didn’t want to take any credits from him until Yon-Rogg insisted for a third time on paying for the damage.

Vers was used to the attention her commander was getting wherever they went by now, however it never failed to amaze her. Not that she’d ever admit it to him, but she really hoped people would someday love her as much as they loved him.

Generally she hoped to be a little bit more like him on day. Maybe not so ridiculously focused on controlling each and every single howsoever insignificant emotion but as wise and experienced as him, as down-to-earth once she had reached the top. And she knew she would be because he would always be on her side to have her back, to keep her level-headed. They were a team and had a bond that could never be broken. Not by anything or anyone.

It would last forever.

They both were sure of it.


End file.
